Ever since moving into the yurt I have had the song “Between the Sheets” by Imogen Heap, stuck in my head. For me this song represents what it is like to wake up each morning in the arms of the man I love and the sense of relief I have in knowing that I get to do this every day.
"Between the Sheets"
You and me between the sheets,
It just doesn’t get better than this.
The many windswept yellow stickies of my mind,
Are the molten emotional front line,
I couldn’t care less I’m transfixed in this absolute bliss
Ooh, sweet sleepless tumbling night,
Oh, and the morning on the your skin and loved up light.
Tracing patterns in the maze of your back,
Softly, softly the goose bumps like that
And then a kiss, maybe another and another one
Tomorrow is move in day. Most of my junk is packed up in my car and ready to be unloaded into out little yurt after i get out of work tomorrow. Then, after Jonny gets home we will go on a short adventure to check out a futon so that we can conserve space and have a comfy place to sleep at the same time. Hopefully this futon will be exactly what we need so that we can bring it home, set it up, and spend our first and long awaited night in this thing that we spent months building. I am so ready for this.
Today we went to the climbing gym with some close friends who are dangerously (but happily) close to becoming engaged and I expressed my own fears and jealousy due to the length of my relationship and my uncontrollable fear of being left and having to start over, but my friend (with the same name as me) reassured me that eventually my time would come, and I was reminded that we will be living together starting tomorrow. Our adventure begins tomorrow. Maybe I am scared because I have never witnessed anyone else experience a life quite like this one, but I have to remember that he wants this with me. If he didn’t want me around then we would not be embarking upon this journey and planning the next stage of our life. Together.
Sometimes when I’m home alone I feel like I’m moving in slow motion. I feel like I am supposed to be further than I am right now, but I just keep having to wait. I have to wait to hear back from this new job because the positions are not open until August. I have to wait to start living with Jonny because our temporary residence has not yet been erected…and I still have a ton of shit left in my room that needs to be put into storage. I feel like I have been waiting so long for these things, these things that will help my life progress in the direction that I want it to go in. And I’m getting really tired of waiting.
Yet, at the same time, a lot of things are happening really fast. We received our zoning permit fairly quickly. We are setting up our temporary residence this coming weekend. And we will be headed out to Missouri in October to assess a potential living situation. October is only about three months away and that’s insane to me to think that in three months I will have been with Jonny for 3 years.
I know, for a little while here I was bothered by the fact that all of my cohorts, beyond my small circle of close friends, have started their lives with their significant others so quickly. Many have been together for a year or less and are already either living together, having a child, or getting married. And it started to make me feel like somehow I am really far behind in this game of life. 3 years with the same person and I still only wake up to them 3-4 days out of the 7 in a week. Those days in between, where I go to sleep and wake up alone are always the worst. But then I think to myself that perhaps it has been for the best. We both have degrees and we will both be working in our fields, and we have saved a ton of money. We are not traditional, and the life we are planning is not an ordinary one. It’s an experiment, an adventure. And while it is terrifying and sometimes frustrating and I get tired of waiting, it’s what I want. The only standards I am obligated to meet are my own, not societies and what they expect of two educated young-adults.
I just have to keep telling myself that I only have to wait a little bit longer.
passive aggressive family members
"guess i’ll never be a grandma"
"guess i’ll never be an aunt"
"guess i’ll never be able to dress a niece/nephew"
stop feeling so entitled to my hypothetical offspring. it is not yours. it is mine. i will grow it if i grow it. and it will be mine. not yours. i am not an incubator which grants you familial titles. jesus. go away. this “have a baby i can play with” thing is so impersonal and insensitive and annoying.
I relate to this post sooooo much…….
I am 23 and all i here is:
Mom: “I can’t wait for you to have kids, they’re going to be so cute. Then I can feed them sugar and send them back to you.”
Step dad: “we want more grandchildren!”
Grandma: “I hope I live long enough to see you get married.”
Grandma: “I hope I live long enough to see you have children.”
Grandma: “I hope you get married before you have children.”
While binge watching the second season of Orange is the New Black, I am sitting here falling in love with so many characters that I didn’t pay much attention to during season one. Poussey being the number one favorite on my list. In the first season Poussey was funny and she is fucking beautiful, but during this season her story is freaking breaking my heart. I also wish there was more back-story for Nichols. This season is crazy and amazing, and I am loving every second of it. And I can’t help but love every scene with Alex and Piper and their undeniable chemistry.
Also, Where the hell is Sophia during this season?! There is just not enough of her :(